questions too hard to ask

i always wanna know how people think about me, and how are they reacting to the things i'm doing. but i never wanna ask because i fear the answer would be unpleasant to me, so i never ask them...i've been messaging and misscalling this person every morning ever since she left malaysia, and i'm not sure whether i'm bothering her, or i'm comforting her.

but here i am, posting questions to people i know would never get to read...anyway, here goes...
how would you react to misscalls? do misscalls irritate you?
how would you read to my smses? puts a smile on your face? or do you feel i am trying to squeeze myself into your life?
what would you feel when we get to chat? and how about all those offline messages i left? are they irritating and annoying? or are you happy that someone across the globe still care about you?

i really wanna know the answers, but i'm too afraid to face them...